Apr. 5th, 2012

sabrinamari: (graveyard 1)
Today I am working with my team to lay out a possible course for the next two years.

If I stay where I am, I see the likely course my path will take. I must ask myself if this is what I want. Is this path fulfilling, sweet, and full of heart? Will it take me where I most want to go? Will I be able to do my heart's work in this world? Will I be able to stay present for my family, my friends, my beloveds? Is this where I want to go?

In my birth family, too, there are junctures approaching. My father is not doing well. His health has been shaky for a few years, something I have been watching quietly, and with sadness. I love him so much, and I see where his choices have taken him. I don't know if he has regrets, but I see branches he never took, options he never explored, and self-loving choices he did not make. Now, he doesn't have many choices left. And this is his right. But it is sad.

So it seems that I must make the most of this year. I need to make sure I create time to spend with him. I need to make sure that I seek him out, and listen, and shower him with love, because the path he is walking is getting shorter and shorter, and that's just the way it is.

As I make my choices as work and at home, I need to keep asking, "Does this path lead to joy? Does it take me where I want to go? Does it reflect my values, my wisdom, my desire for peace? Does this path allow me to express who I truly am, and do my heart's work in the world? Does this path allow me to express the best of myself, and give and receive better than fair in every part of my life?"

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sabrinamari

June 2012

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