Mar. 24th, 2012

sabrinamari: (Default)
Ten ways to say no respectfully (adapt to your own particular circumstances):

1. That sounds like a really great opportunity, but I just cannot take on any additional commitments at this time.

2. I am not comfortable with that ______________ (situation, talk, group of people involved).

3. I feel overwhelmed by service right now, so I am going to have to decline your generous invitation.

4. I am in the middle of _________________, ____________________, and ____________________, and if I get tenure, I am unable to take on any additional service.

5. I am not the best person for this. Why don't you ask _________________?

6. If you can find a way of eliminating one of my existing service obligations, I will consider your request.

7. I would rather say no to your request than do a halfhearted job on your committee.

8. Right now, I need to focus on my research agenda and publication. When I have tenure, I hope to be able to say yes to requests like this one.

9. I cannot serve on your committee right now. But why don't you ask me again next year?

10. No. (Look the asker in the eye and sit in silence.)

The Black Academic's Guide to Winning Tenure----Without Losing Your Soul, Kerry Ann Rockquemore and Tracy Laszliffy, p. 119
sabrinamari: (Default)
...who is courageously challenging a whole set of beliefs that keep her constrained, limited and less fully in the awesomeness that is her core:

So, in other words, I think it is beautiful and empowering and awesome for you to rethink these beliefs that keep you from blossoming into powerful directions yourself. And it benefits the world every time you choose to challenge your limiting beliefs. It changes someone else in ways you can't even imagine when you challenge your limitations and exceed them.

And it benefits me, because I am aspiring to the best I can be, and I want you with me. : )
sabrinamari: (Default)
Brilliant post, found by [livejournal.com profile] divalion:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2012/03/restoring-hope/

[IMPORTANT EDIT: I just want to be clear before I go to the important quote below. I don't think people are 7s. Anyone I choose to love and care about is a 10. But situations can be 7s. I am thinking that it is important to release situations that are 7s and give them the space to become 10s later, or simply do whatever they need to do. People aren't 7s! People are 10s!]

"When we’re tolerating a 7, we block connections to 9s and 10s. Life can’t help but notice when you’re saying yes to a 7. It’s waiting on you to say no to that 7 before it can bring you anything better.

Tolerating a 7 will induce you to lower your vibe to become a match for that 7. You can’t cling to a 7 and seriously intend a 9 or 10 to show up. I noticed this effect in myself as I felt some resentment towards the hassles of dealing with my online social life. Feeling resentment only attracts more experiences that give rise to resentment. I certainly experienced plenty of that. Now that this resentment is gone, I feel much more optimistic socially, and I keep seeing evidence that the people around me are picking up on this too."


After reading this post, I realized that what I am doing is releasing all the 7s in my life, everywhere.

If there's a 7, it's going.

I'm also inviting everyone and everything to show me how it/they are actually 8s or better. I'm curious to see what happens, here.
sabrinamari: (tiny seedling)
[livejournal.com profile] justusgirlz is taking me to Nordstrom's to buy suits. As it is the consensus of both my online and in-person communities that I need an entirely new approach to professional dressing/clothing, that is going to happen today.

I am resigned. I've put on my Miskatonic University Metaphys Ed shirt and yoga pants to express my feelings about this.



[livejournal.com profile] justusgirlz is forcing me to watch instructive clothing videos before we go.

I just want to put my head in someone's lap and get my forehead stroked.

sigh.
sabrinamari: (tiny seedling)
...and it was fun.

I can now tell high-quality fabrics from low-quality fabrics, I know what works on my body, and I get how to use accessories on a suit.

Found some wonderful things and spent lots of money but feel good about it.

I really had a good time.

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