Feb. 20th, 2012

Surreal

Feb. 20th, 2012 06:40 am
sabrinamari: (Surviving HIV/AIDS)
Woke up to an email from a medical student I don't know with the subject line "You're an inspiration". Is this some clever form of spam? I thought. What are they selling? Weird. Scanning it I realized that UMDNJ magazine came out with a feature on my book that I was interviewed for last year but totally forgot about. I'll look for it when I get into the office today. Maybe this will help me think about how to write my TED talk for the March application deadline.

Huh.

****

Also in my email, from Early Morning Buddhist Inspiration:

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."
 
  ~The Buddha 

Isn't it cool when the universe dovetails like that? I guess Siddharta was right: choose your words carefully. People really do listen to them, and are influenced thereby for the better or worse.

(And now I am wondering, exactly what did I say?)


 
sabrinamari: (Surviving HIV/AIDS)
OK, now I understand. It's a giant two-page spread with a big picture of me. I thought it was going to be a column. Wow!
sabrinamari: (Daily practice)
Whichever of the two occurs, be patient.

Commentary: Whatever happens in your life, joyful or painful, do not be swept away by reactivity. Be patient with yourself and don't lose your sense of perspective.

Lojong slogan 42, The Compassion Box, Pema Chodron

[59 Buddhist Teachings on Living Life with Fearlessness and Compassion, translated by the Nalanda Translation Committee, with commentary by Pema Chodron]

****

I think this one is about keeping your center regardless of whether you encounter good fortune and sweetness or sadness and loss. Either way, you fully feel it, you learn from it, you see whatever it has to give you, and then you move on, still open to the world around you as it is.

The trick is not to get fixated in an unhealthy way on either on sorrow or joy. Too much fixation on sorrow makes you a constant drain on those around you and too much obsession with joy makes you insensitive to the very real pains of others.

Neither alone is good; some of both is necessary to make a whole human being.

It also makes me think of a metaphor someone used to explain why it was equally problematic to get swept up in either fame or ignominy: "Whether you're going up or down on a ladder, it's still pretty shaky."

Yeah. Better to have both feet on the ground. You can keep your footing much more easily that way.
sabrinamari: (enblankenate)
Tonight I am self-medicating like mad. I stopped and picked up a spicy tuna roll, two pounds of mussels and a chunk of super high end cheese from Grafton. Waaaaay too much to eat. I'm thinking about watching Buffy or maybe Firefly.

Gods, I wish I could get a massage.

Want to get comfort:

http://ontdcats.livejournal.com/19513.html
sabrinamari: (Surviving HIV/AIDS)
Read more... )

My beautiful man helped me make a jpeg and a pdf of this article, and then he gleefully pointed out that one of the other articles had gotten SIX PAGES of filler out of describing one doctor's day at the office, and that the magazine was clearly desperate to fill its pages. In a completely unselfconscious and innocent way, he crowed with delight at the ridiculousness of the whole magazine, blithely crushing my excitement in one fell swoop.

Fortunately, I know him to be a truly a suaaave and deboner guy, just the kind of sweet man who is likely to chat you up by telling you that you are "...the most beautiful girl on the whole street (depending on the street), or at least in the top three...".

Still, I was left so stunned and speechless by this completely unmalicious, unconscious blow to the gut that I began to laugh uncontrollably and eventually weep. Then I couldn't breathe, and it was difficult to choke out an explanation of exactly how awful it was to realize that my triumphant interview was basically a classic example of desperation filler. This was followed by Michael's own growing horror and remorse as he realized how he had unintentionally obliterated the best part of my day.

Poor honey. He tried to fix it all by saying that I could have probably gotten at least four pages if I had shown some cleavage. Then he stopped and said, "Wow, that was the worst thing I could possibly have said. I will be quiet now."

By this time I was laughing so hard I was choking for lack of air, shaking uncontrollably and I think my whole body had turned red.

I really needed it.

"I will always make you laugh," he said, when we had finally both calmed down and caught our breath, "...as long as you have a good sense of self."

Two-page interview in a glossy magazine: Pretty sweet.

Laughing so hard with your honey that you almost pee yourself: Priceless.

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