Jan. 27th, 2012

sabrinamari: (The Star)
This morning I have been thinking about ruthlessness in its many varieties. Over the last couple of months, I've had the opportunity to see it, close up, in myself and in others around me. I think this opportunity has arisen because there have been so many upsets in my immediate environment, and emergencies tend to summon out people's Shadows.
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sabrinamari: (Godhooks/Transformation)
So many of the people I love are experiencing deep, tremendous change right now. A side effect of having so many close bonds in my life is that I get to see into the pain and profundity of the process of living for many, many people.

It's sad and even heartbreaking when those I care for are hurting bad. Sometimes I don't know how to help, but usually, usually, we can talk and figure something out.

The other thing is that I get to see transformation unfold over and over again in many beautiful forms: a risk is taken, a life expanded, and it's beautiful, powerful, amazing...and then something goes wrong, or there's a fall, a disappointment, a tragedy. And each person mourns in very similar ways. It's surprising how much pain looks the same in so many different lives.

But then I also get to see each person get up, limp along, and realize that they are stronger and more resilient than they ever believed themselves to be. And I watch as they piece things together and make meaning from what they've experienced, re-define, re-imagine and re-formulate their worlds, and then rise up again in a new way, still beautiful but different now.

So even though it is sad and hard to see so many people I love struggling and suffering, I can see that sometime in the future I will be a witness as each emerges from his or her chrysalis. Sometime in the coming months or years I will be surrounded by an endless sea of butterflies.

So even if it is hard this minute, I will take the lessons I learn from each, and from my own experience, and apply them as widely and as best I can. Sometimes, though, the best you can do is stay present with another person's suffering.

Later, though, I will partake in all their joy. That will be incredible.


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June 2012

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