Jan. 19th, 2012

sabrinamari: (Default)
Don't wait in ambush.

Commentary: Don't wait for the moment when someone you don't like is weak to let them have it. This may bring immediate satisfaction, but in the long run it poisons you.

Lojong slogan 32, The Compassion Box, Pema Chodron

[59 Buddhist Teachings on Living Life with Fearlessness and Compassion, translated by the Nalanda Translation Committee, with commentary by Pema Chodron]


I'm good with this. After years of striking out in anger, I figured out that it actually made me feel worse about myself in the long run. And well after the other person was gone, I still had to live with whatever I had said/done/hurled at them.

I can't remember most of the awful things Ken said to me during our many years of mutual anguish, but I still remember exactly what I screamed at him in the parking lot of my new apartment after we broke up. Yuck.

So I look at this particular Lojong slogan as a kind of "healthily selfish" guideline. As lovely as it is to spare someone you don't like a swipe to the heart, it's even better to spare yourself the loss of self-esteem and self-respect that inevitably follow.


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June 2012

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